Monthly Archives: January 2009


this is the new antony & the johnsons album called the crying light. most of you will know that i already love this album. and this will be an album permanently connected with my mom. the album leaked shortly after i got to connecticut, and it became the soundtrack for the rest of my visit. the first song on the album, “her eyes are underneath the ground”, is coincidentally about the relationship between mother and son. this album now brings me to tears, in a most beautiful way. in my mind this album is a tribute to my mom.

since my judgment of this album is extremely clouded i’m going to point you to these beautifully written reviews.
tiny mix tape’s

here’s her “eyes are underneath the ground” being performed in london on antony’s recent orchestral tour.

this is the gorgeous video for the single
‘epilepsy is dancing”.


when i got this plant i was told that it would never flower, but it would be a great foliage plant. well seven years later, the plant defied the odds and flowered.



the passing of my mother yesterday, while not unexpected, is still a total shock. she was such a strong and stubborn woman who would not let the world stop her. she grew up in connecticut and traveled quite a bit with her family, she got to see all of the continental united states and some of canada. she married my father fairly young and started our family. we became a family with seven kids, and like most families, we were not perfect. but she raised us to the best of her ability, teaching us to be not to be easily let down. she gave us the ability to alway’s find something to smile about, no matter how bad things looked. she also instilled the talent, or burden, of catholic guilt.

something i found while packing up her house.

something i found while packing up her house.


i am the youngest of the seven, and am still considered the baby at the age of 32. i was the last to leave the house, and was probably the closest with her. it was on my mother’s insistence that i leave connecticut and find my own path. after leaving i made sure to call her often, which was hard for both of us because of our mutual dislike of the phone. i have never regretted leaving, but as my mother’s health was failing over the last year pangs of guilt did grow. when she went into the hospital in november, i was thankful that i could go visit with her in december. i am so glad that i got to see her, and it was the first christmas that i spent with her in almost ten years. i was fortunate that for the majority of my visit she was conscious and aware, allowing us to have many conversations. it was only in the last week of my visit that the pain was getting too great for her to deal with, and she asked to be medicated until the pain went away. the medications made communication almost impossible, although she was always aware of our presence and could always crack a smile. she passed away peacefully at seven twenty in the morning.

i have many fond memories of my mother, and know that all the painful ones will disappear the quickest. i know that i will never stop missing or loving her.

for fans of klaus nomi this is like the holy grail of lost recordings. za bakdaz is a collection of songs for a new wave opera that klaus was working on when he passed away in 1983. these tracks seem like they were still in the rough demo phase, and just teases us with the masterpiece the he could have created.  this was a far more experimental than his previous studio albums, more akin to the sci-fi soundtracks of the sixties. klaus uses his voice almost like a theremin, adding texture and drama.

my only problem with the release of za bakdaz, is how little information there is about it. the liner notes are a collection a anecdotes and quotes the seem unrelated to the album, or maybe i just read them wrong. mainly what i would like to know is how much of this is how klaus wanted it to sound and how much was engineered and remastered for the release?

after some searching i found this interview with za bakdaz co-creators, which answers some questions, but not all.

i am wallowing in a pit of bad reality shows right now. even top chef is boring me. i’m glad that the third season of america’s best dance crew starts tomorrow. the two seasons of abdc that aired last year gave me some of the biggest television moments. this show is a natural extension of my love of dance movies. mainly i like that the crews get creative challenges and do all their own choreography. season one was all about kaba modern, and season two was all about fanny pak. you can watch all of the fanny pak performances here. i strongly recommend the speakerphone and get ur freak on performances, but they are all great.
neither of my favorites ended up winning. maybe i should start voting?